Clear View
by Amarthame
Summary: Fear grips and holds. Panic pushes and sways. Confusion confounds and teases. Nobody is immune, not a visionary teen who never saw within himself, not a hidden alien who was never seen before, especially not when everyone finally opens their eyes. ZADR.
1. Section One

**Series:** Invader Zim

**Pairing(s):** ZADR (aka Zim/Dib)

**Summary:** Fear grips and holds. Panic pushes and sways. Confusion confounds and teases. Nobody is immune, not a visionary teen who never saw within himself, not a hidden alien who was never seen before, especially not when everyone finally opens their eyes.

**Disclaimer:** Invader Zim and all related characters, etc. are the property of Nickelodeon.

**Other Notes:** Okay, I'll honestly tell you that I'm only posting this up here now because I figure if I start putting it up, that'll motivate me to actually finish the last few parts of it. Yes, yes, I'm horrible like that. xD Every part is gonna be about this long, and you'll see how many parts there are. Let me go ahead and tell you that this isn't gonna be fluffy, or action-packed, or any of those things. I'm aiming for character development, one high-stress situation, and realism. Also, you can call this fanfic arguably AU, because I pretty much gave every human on Earth besides Dib and Gaz the adequate intelligence that they never display during the show. ^^; And let it be known that the ZADR is so mild it's not even funny; it's mostly undertones and thoughts and stuff. I have no idea what here could possibly look like fluff, but if it looks like fluff, it isn't. You're wrong. xD If you're looking for "fluff," then you're looking for my one-shots.

This fic being what it is, I feel that a lot of things in it can be called extremely iffy at best, so please, leave a review and tell me what needs fixing. Or leave a review telling me I'm doing well, just to make me feel better! Or leave a five-page-long essay on how and why I suck. Just leave a review. Please. xD

------

It wasn't something that he'd ever admit out loud, he knew. No matter what; they could hold him underwater without his PAK and he still wouldn't admit it. In fact, he forced himself to think, there was absolutely no way that he could even consider the idea in reference to himself. It was simply ridiculous, he decided. He was far above such idiotic, inferior weaknesses.

He knew that that was a lie, of course, but he didn't see how that was at all relevant.

And so, as he ran in the rain from the smoldering wreckage of his beloved ship, his eyes wide and panicked and his breath coming in short, insufficient puffs and his three remaining spider legs quivering beneath the weight of his wildly shivering body and his invader instincts making his finger twitch violently towards the glove where his self-destruct button hid, Zim reminded himself in incoherent bursts of broken thought that invaders _are never afraid._ The tears flying wildly from his eyes and his antennae perking up frantically at the powerful shouts of the human mob ten or twenty meters at his rear were lying, _lying_! He wasn't afraid! He couldn't be! Fear? He hardly knew the meaning of the word! He was shaking from the cold, damnit, it was the _cold!_ Tears? Invaders do not cry! Never! It is the rain, only that, and he wasn't sobbing or hyperventilating or anything of the sort!

Because, Zim told himself frantically as he tripped over his broken fourth spider leg and rolled into a puddle at the edge of the street, invaders are strong and never show fear because there is never any fear to show! And, Tallest be damned, Zim was an invader!

He was a proud Irken invader!

He forced that thought through his (oh so very superior!) mind as he curled up briefly in the puddle as though he could hope to hide in the night-blackened water away from the frightened numbness in his skin and the violent shaking through the whole of his being. Oh, he would never admit it, never, _never_, but Zim knew he was scared. Oh so very, very scared like he had never been before in his life! And it had been a long life, with many near-death experiences throughout it all, but what of that now! The humans, they had shot down his ship! His superior ship! They had, they had captured GIR, they had found Zim out! They were so very close to capturing Zim! And then they would... they would _study_ him and they would cut him wide open and they would... they would...

Zim widened his eyes as he stared down the street, his mind grasping for some slight comfort and some slight solution. Where was he? What neighborhood was this? Where could he hide, where, where, _where_?

Zim summoned the whole of his unsurpassed willpower and used every ounce of it to strengthen his resolve that he would absolutely _not_ allow himself to expire in this filthy place. He had to find somewhere! There had to be somewhere! He pushed himself onto his feet with slender arms shaking and bending wildly as though pushed around by the chaotic wind, then slipped and nearly fell back into the puddle before he thought to catch himself with his spider legs. He ran, sprinted, leaped, bounded down the street, mind racing for a location, absolutely _anywhere_ where he could hide! The humans, they were catching up to him, they would capture him, they would... they would...

A house stood out to Zim like a lighthouse in the darkest storm. Familiar? Was it familiar to him? He couldn't be bothered to consider it; he bounded towards it with limbs flying in all directions as though they could make his spider legs move faster than they already were. He stopped at his arrival, innate survival instincts compelling him to yank one pillar of the house's security field out of its deep-rooted position in the ground. Pointing the dangerous, sparking end of the pillar towards the door of the house, Zim sprinted forwards to knock the door open and off one of its hinges, tripping forward onto his face in the process.

"Zim! What are you doing here?!" Dib snapped, startled out of watching Mysterious Mysteries, jumping off the couch into a threatened stance.

But Zim ignored the human entirely and fully, scrambling to his feet and racing towards the stairs. He had no idea why; his mind was racing far too quickly for him to catch the thought processes behind the decisions he was making. His instincts only told him to avoid his enemy's lab and to avoid his enemy, but since he was already in the house, only the bedroom, only the bedroom could be safe. Zim didn't know it, but his instincts realized that it was only in Dib's bedroom that the human could have hidden the numerous weapons and devices that he had stolen from Zim throughout the years. And how else could he stand a chance against the coming mob?

***

Dib could only stare, mind racing to make connections, as his enemy, utterly drenched, shook and shivered and tripped over himself as he sprinted up the stairs towards Dib's room. What in the hell was going on? But first things first, Dib made sure to close the door as best he could (Zim had come painfully close to breaking it completely); even after all these years, whatever Zim could do wasn't nearly as threatening as what Gaz _would_ do to him if he left the door open in this awful storm. But closing the door took barely ten seconds and Dib was running up the stairs after his enemy before he heard his bedroom door slam shut.

Between seeing Zim burst in, running up the stairs, down the hall and through his bedroom door, Dib barely had time to comprehend anything—_anything_—that was going on before he stood, absolutely still from shock, watching his enemy stand in the corner of his room, eyes panicking and irrational, shaking violently and visibly, completely drenched and hurting from it but hardly even noticing, and completely and utterly _terrified_.

Dib barely realized it through the desperation that raced through the air at that moment, but the sight of Zim looking like that was one that broke his heart, completely and utterly.

"Zim?" he tried, concern filling his voice as though the alien weren't his mortal enemy at all, "Are you... What happened?"

He stepped forward towards the Irken, taking in Zim's appearance more and more; his antennae were in disarray and twitching madly, his invader uniform was damaged, his left boot was missing...

"Stay back! Leave me alone!" Zim cried, and Dib felt himself wince at the way his enemy's voice cracked in fear. Zim's usual rage was barely there, dodging in and out of the cacophony of despair and panic and fear that swirled around the alien like a hurricane.

"No, it's okay, I'm not gonna hurt you!" Dib cried instinctively, disbelief welling in a distant corner of his mind at the words coming out of his mouth. This was his _enemy_. His very vulnerable enemy! Without his disguise! Shouldn't this be a good thing? Shouldn't it... shouldn't Dib be happy, laughing even?

But Dib only raised his hands in the universal "I am not a threat" signal, attempting another step forward before he heard the slight whimper that escaped the alien before him. Dib felt utterly broken as he realized that Zim was shrinking away from him in the most profound fear that he had ever seen anyone demonstrate.

"What _happened_?" Dib asked, trying hard to hold back on the desperation in his voice; how could he let his enemy know how much seeing Zim in this state was tearing him apart?

"Th-th-they! Out there! And you... you're not... Stay back!" Zim shouted as decisively as he could after his nearly-incoherent babbling. "Stay away from me, you filthy worm, or I'll... I'll vaporize your brain! Your organs! All of them!"

"Take it easy, Zim, I'm not gonna hurt you! Just tell me what's going on!"

"You're going to cut me apart and tear out my squeedily-spooch!" Zim shouted loudly, voice hoarse with fear and forced rage. He hugged his arms around himself, as though to keep his organs from coming out on their own. But his arms shook so heavily that he could barely keep them tight around himself and he simply fell to his knees, eyes shut and teeth gritted together in a feeble attempt to steel himself against the incessant shivering coursing through his body.

"I... No, I'm not, I just..." Dib could hardly take it any longer. How could he possibly just stand there while Zim looked so utterly broken and afraid? This was so uncharacteristic of his cocky, overconfident demeanor most of the time, so what could have happened? What had terrified Zim so utterly? He couldn't have been... found out? That couldn't be it, could it?

Could it?

Dib didn't waste another moment considering it; his heart took control of his limbs and before he knew what was what or why, he was running forward and pulling Zim into a tight embrace.

But it was less than comforting, he supposed, as Zim suddenly tensed up completely, his eyes shooting open. "No, get away! Leave me alone, do not touch Zim!" he shrieked, pushing away Dib as best as he possibly could, but Dib kept his hold on the alien strong.

"It's okay, Zim! I'm not gonna hurt you, it'll be okay!" Dib shouted over Zim's protests and realizing just how horrible he was at calming people down. He was so very near crying at Zim's utterly pitiful state, but instead he reached up to stroke the back of Zim's head in hopes that he could maybe get Zim to stop freaking out.

Zim kept protesting, but quieter and quieter until his voice became a babbling whimper. He was, Dib realized, completely out of breath and utterly overwhelmed. And still quivering and hurt and drenched completely.

Then it clicked for Dib: Zim was _completely drenched_. With _water._

Hurriedly, he reached over to yank the blanket off of his bed, still holding Zim with one arm. He all but held his breath as he let go of Zim completely to wrap the blanket around the alien; he wished he could have gotten a towel, but he couldn't just leave Zim here like this! "Here," Dib offered meekly to the alien, unable to ignore the suspicion and paranoia glaring at him through the panic, "You should dry off, right?"


	2. Section Two

No longer sprinting for his life, Zim found that gradually, his coherent thought was returning to him. The Dib... sitting there, looking so hurt, telling him to dry off, not prodding him with any of the concealed weapons stashed around his room? What was going on? What? _Why_?

Was he trying to _help_? Zim let the thought drift along his mind for a brief moment before he realized what it was; it was a trap! A trick!

"No, get away, leave me alone! You will not trick Zim!" he shouted at the human hoarsely, a feat that he vaguely realized should have been impossible with how little air his shallow breaths supplied him with. His instincts forced him to gasp in a deep breath after that, and he tried to hop to his feet to get away from this human who would undoubtedly just turn him over to the Earth authorities; it was a wonder he hadn't already!

But his legs were weak, utterly exhausted just like the rest of him. He needed to sit, to rest and recuperate, but he couldn't do that in his enemy's own base! What had he been thinking, coming here? But no matter how much he knew he had to stand up, he couldn't, just couldn't. Dib had his hands on Zim's shoulders and was looking into Zim's eyes with heartbreaking concern but Zim forced himself not to see any of that. Concern? Ha! It's a ruse, a clever trick!

What else could it possibly be?! Dib was his enemy! _Enemy!_ Mortal enemy!

"Come on, Zim, dry off, you're soaking wet. If I had wanted to hurt you, don't you think I would've already done it?" Dib's voice reasoned pleadingly.

Zim only scowled, forcing anger through his veins past the fear, but he could still hear the mob of humans, their shouts and their footsteps and could feel their eyes on him and could sense their plans to cut him open just like an animal and the fear just _would not go away._

_I'm not afraid,_ Zim told himself forcefully, despite being unable to make his eyes any less painfully wide with what he knew was panic, _Invaders are never afraid!_

That was when his panic flared and his antennae screamed at a sudden sensation enveloping them and all of him and Zim yelled and thrashed about, "You won't capture Zim! You won't! Never, never!"

"Zim, calm down, it's okay! I'm just drying your head off, that's all! Okay?" Dib tried to make him understand, but Zim just looked around uncomprehendingly.

What was Dib planning, damnit, why was he doing all this?!

Zim stared at Dib for an instant that felt like an eternity; he acted like he was worried about Zim, and it made it so painfully hard to resist, but he knew he needed to! How could he possibly believe his enemy?! How?! The tears glistening in the human's eyes meant nothing, they were for show! His flushed face betrayed no true worry, how could it possibly? The delicate way he ran the blanket over Zim's antennae was just a clever ruse! That's all it was!

And Zim opened his mouth to complain once more, but he caught himself in his tracks and stiffened entirely with his antennae folded flat against his head. His superior Irken senses could hear—no, _feel_—the hoards of humans raging and yelling and stomping just outside the door to Dib's house—no, in Dib's living room! They broke in through the door! He was hyperventilating again, shivering madly and he found the strength to leap to his feet, the blanket dropping to the floor and Dib falling backwards with Zim's sudden movement.

He looked around, in full panic mode again, instincts kicking in and desperately looking for somewhere to hide. Somewhere, _anywhere_! Or, or some way to protect himself, some way to keep himself alive through the night at least! He couldn't go outside, they'd only find him faster, he couldn't... he couldn't go _anywhere_...

"Where are my weapons?" he suddenly snapped at Dib, ignorant to the fear a deep part of him knew his voice was caked with.

"What?" Dib asked dumbly as he scrambled to his feet.

"My weapons!" Zim yelled, nearly in hysterics. How could he not understand?! He had stolen enough of them over the years that he couldn't possibly be this oblivious! What was wrong with him?! "The weapons you stole! The humans will come and take Zim if I do not have my weapons!"

Zim shot over to the closet and tore through it, ignoring the near-limitless information Dib had accumulated about him, ignoring the pictures and the notes and the little doodles of him all over those notes... Where were the guns, the explosives, the time-stasis field generator?!

"Just... uh...They're somewhere in there, I think, just get in! Hide! I'll keep them busy downstairs, okay?" Dib turned to run over to the door, but Zim reached out and grabbed at the human's sleeve.

"You will only hand Zim over to those filthy monsters!" the terrified alien protested, a pleading look like a thin watery coat over the paranoia in his suddenly narrowed eyes.

"Hey, no, don't worry! I'm not gonna... I won't let them get you, okay?" Dib promised, giving Zim a shaky smile. Before tearing out of the alien's grip and sprinting down the stairs to hold the mob at bay, leaving Zim standing in his room, all alone.

***

_They found out, _Dib realized grimly. He could hardly believe it; people had finally realized that Zim was an alien! Why was this suddenly such an awful, horrible thing? Why in the hell did it tear Dib apart as much as it did? Why did _he_ feel so utterly mortified and panicky and desperate all of a sudden? Zim's feelings were more than understandable, but even sympathy could not possibly account for how profoundly those emotions touched Dib's very core and punctured his heart with their needle-like touch.

Feeling all of that was almost more than Dib could handle, he had to admit; nothing had ever hurt him so profoundly, not even when Zim had emulated Dib's entire life in order to get back at him for a thrown muffin, and not even when he had actually held Dib's family hostage at his space station two or three years later. But as it were, that was not nearly all that Dib had to worry about at that moment. He still had to keep the angry mob at bay.

Oh, wouldn't that be _fun_.

He ran down into the living room just as the outer edges of the crowd had started to diffuse to other rooms of the house.

"What do you think you're doing?" Dib yelled angrily at them, trying more than his hardest to keep the lump in his throat and the weight on his chest from influencing his shaky voice.

"The alien came in here!" growled a surly man over the jumbled collective voice of the crowd.

At another time, Dib may have taken this opportunity to point out how many times he had said just the same thing without any response from anybody around him. But the thought never even crossed his mind now that the situation he'd dreamed of for so long was fresh on his doorstep, and instead, his thoughts raced for a believable reply to that simple fact. Running on empty and realizing that he had to say something, Dib let out "I know!" in his most agitated voice, then promptly went back to thinking of a believable lie.

It took him just a bit too long, it seemed.

"Well, where is it?" a large man with a deep voice bellowed back to Dib, backed by shouts of "Yeah!" and all manner of obscenities.

"Well, I..." Dib started, faltered slightly, then found his lie just before the crowd's suspicion rose up. "He burst in through the door and attacked me, but I was too much for him after all and I threw him out the back door!" Dib pointed in the direction of the kitchen, where the back door hid, for effect. "I would've yelled for you, but he was gone before I knew it! I think he ran into the yard next door,"

Dib all but held his breath, hoping like his life depended on it that the mob would believe him, that they wouldn't notice the watery trail Zim had tracked into the house and up the stairs, that they wouldn't search the house just to appease their own paranoia...

"You heard him, let's get out of here!" a woman with a shrill voice proclaimed.

"Wait, how do we know he's telling the truth?" the surly man shot back, eyeing Dib menacingly. Dib couldn't help but gulp nervously.

"The alien's getting away! Let's go!" a new voice shouted, young and male, from deep within the crowd.

"But what if the kid's working with the alien?!" demanded yet another voice, old and voluminous and womanly.

"Who are you people, what are you doing here?!" Gaz demanded as she walked down the stairs, closing her Game Slave and noticing the crowd for the first time.

"There's an alien here!" shouted the first voice.

"No there's not!" shot back the third.

Dib just stood there, giving Gaz what he hoped was a discreet, pleading look. Even if it was from his little sister who hated him more than anyone, Dib needed help from anyone possible right at that moment.

Gaz only stood, fist clenching and teeth grinding against each other in utter rage. She didn't waste a glance at Dib, and so, Dib decided, probably never saw the look he gave her. Instead, she just shouted in a voice so angry it was almost painful, "_Get out of my house!_"

The crowd promptly silenced itself, just staring at the girl before them who, somewhat on the short side and not even Hi Skool age yet, instilled in them the most menacing aura most of them had ever felt.

"Hey, I think I see the alien!" shouted a voice from outside, probably pointing down the street.

"You heard him, let's get out of here!" bellowed the deep-voiced man hurriedly as the crowd emptied into the road and started down the street.

When the last one was gone, mere seconds later, Dib heaved a heavy sigh of sheer relief. He couldn't even believe he had gotten through that; hell, he couldn't believe his heart hadn't torn itself clean out of its chest with how hard it was pumping. Not to mention the headache that screamed to go check on Zim right now, right now, right _now._ And he would, but first he turned to his sister. "Thanks, Gaz, I owe you one."

"Whatever," Gaz snarled hatefully. "And keep it quiet upstairs, Zim's screaming was getting annoying."

Dib blinked, somewhat surprised at that. "Uh, okay." He turned back towards the stairs and ran back up to his room.


	3. Section Three

**Notes: **This is around the part where I start getting really self-conscious about my quest for realism and how it's probably tripping over its own feet and taking logical sense away from the story. I apologize in advance for that; try not to condemn me for it. xD

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At any other time, standing like this in a corner of Dib's surprisingly vast closet space might have reminded Zim of a time when Dib had trapped him in there, and then ran for a camera. That had been nearly three years ago, he might have realized, and he had fit more easily in the space with the smaller physique he held back then. Zim hadn't even risked sticking around and stealing the camera that time around, he had just cut a hole in the closet door with lasers from his PAK and scurried out the window before Dib had returned; there was no sense in risking himself so needlessly. But now, that one occurrence was so far away from Zim's thought processes that it might as well have never happened at all. Because Zim couldn't even string together a coherent thought at that moment, much less an entire memory. All he could focus on was the sheer wordless panic in his mind and the sheer wordless terror that that panic enveloped.

And beyond that, all he knew was that if Dib were lying to him, there would be more filthy stink-humans than the entire house could hold running up the stairs and spilling into the room. And they would all be looking for Zim.

Zim whimpered despite the mantra of _"I am not afraid"_ running through his mind and pulled Dib's blanket closer about him, hiding away in the folds. He would have fought his racing thoughts if he had had the energy, but he couldn't; he was alone with thoughts that weren't even complete thoughts and that tore him limb from limb and shattered his remains. What was he going to do? Dib was one of _them_! He was going to tell them Zim was here! He was going to bring them all up here and they would study and experiment and cut and dissect and _tear Zim apart!_

The alien crouched upon the floor and curled up into as small a space as he could possibly hope to take up (he never thought he would ever wish that he hadn't grown taller!), trying to shrink and phase clear out of existence, shutting his eyes painfully tight against the world, mind racing for solutions and coming up so empty that sheer emptiness would have been an improvement. Jumping out the window? Into the rain? Although his antennae were covered by the blanket and the world was muted around him, he could hear the tempest battering the roof and walls and windows and trying hard to get in, to get at _Zim._ He could still hear the humans, but he couldn't tell where they were anymore; outside? Almost outside? Still downstairs? They would still come after Zim, no matter what! Everyone would! The entire planet hunted him now, down to its own freakish, painful weather patterns!

Zim grit his teeth against the sheer panic in his mind, shivering so violently that his PAK made a loud, erratic knocking sound as it bumped into the wall behind him repeatedly, and then he jumped each time he heard the sound. Was it his PAK against the wall, was it the rain, was it a squirrel, was it the humans coming to _tear Zim limb from limb?!_ He couldn't help himself from looking up and around desperately, wishing that he saw something outside of a messy human's closet, wishing that he at least knew where the weapons were! Shouldn't he at least see them if they were there?! Why had Dib lied to him, why, why, _why_?

Not that he would have been able to use any of those weapons, none of them were that strong and the mob outside was too huge anyway. He was outnumbered and his strength was far surpassed by the collective force of the _filthy urchins_, bloodthirsty and looking for him and ready to cut him wide open, to, to remove his PAK and his squeedily-spooch, and... and...

What in the world could he possibly _do_, damnit?! How could he get out of this, how, how, _how?_ He didn't have his base, or his ship, or his robot, or any of his supplies! He couldn't repair the broken tools in his PAK, he couldn't call the Tallest, not that that would help, he knew now, so what was he supposed to do?! He didn't have anything! He couldn't just hide in his mortal enemy's home for the rest of his pathetic life!

Zim tried desperately to stabilize his breathing, but utter hopelessness wrapped around his throat like a noose and took any and all stability he ever could have dreamed of out from underneath him. He felt so utterly, hopelessly helpless, and he hated every second of it more than he could have ever imagined hating anything.

As he curled up into a tighter and tighter ball, shivering and shaking and letting out involuntary whimper after involuntary whimper, listening to the menacing screech of the rain and the wind and what sounded like the humans, he didn't even realize that the one image that rose in his mind was that of Dib. In all the disarray, some inner part of him, whatever inner part could still make decisive realizations, needed Dib above all else. After all, wasn't he the only one who Zim had? He was the only one who cared (part of Zim subconsciously roared at this notion, dismissing it as _lies!_), and he was the only one who helped, and he was the only one... the only one that Zim...

There was an emotion there, Zim could feel it in the part of him that was still coherent enough to feel such things, but it was hidden and out of sight and all Zim could possibly hope to focus on was the sheer disarray and feeling of terror of the most absolute sort. Dread, horror, desperation, mortification, and complete and utter _terror._

And that feeling never lifted, not once, not even when he was shocked out of his shock by a noise, the opening of a door, _footsteps._

His head whipped over to stare at the inside of the closet door, more panicked than he could hope to comprehend, throwing the blanket straight off of his antennae, and each footstep he heard felt like an earthquake. The shivering throughout his body built up with his panic, his fear, his utter desperation; they flew around and around and around him and crashed into each other and built up a torment like the storm outside that only grew worse and worse and worse with each passing millisecond. He felt something like a fire at absolute zero well within his chest, the very manifestation of his panic, and with each step, each step, each step—_with each step it came closer and closer and it was going to tear Zim apart!_

By the time his antennae picked up the sound of breathing just outside the closet door, his panic and fear were so painfully great that it was a wonder that they didn't burst right out of the confines of his skin; his eyes were wide and completely unfocused; the signals from his antenna felt meaningless on his brain; he was dumbfounded from shock and as utterly still as he could be while shaking and shivering involuntarily.

He heard a hand on the closet doorknob, heard talking but recognized neither the voice nor the words, and in the instant when the door came open, a feeling like adrenaline took control of his shivering, useless limbs and feral instinct synchronized their movements into a definitive retaliation.

***

"Hey, Zim, they're go—whoa!" Dib exclaimed, surprised as Zim launched at him before he even had the chance to open the closet entirely. A profound fear welled within him at the murderous, crazed flame Zim's eyes carried, and he couldn't do a thing but just lie on the floor, shocked, with the weight of Zim sitting right on top of him.

"You will not capture Zim for your revolting filthy tests!" Zim cried into Dib's face with a voice caked with instinctive rage and an expression with all the fear and anger ever shown before but none of the recognition. And Dib just stared for an instant that felt eternally long, petrified and horrified at the image before him. If ever he doubted that leaving Zim all alone while he was in such a state was a bad idea, the doubt was gone now, completely and utterly. He should have known; should have seen how plainly unstable Zim had been from the second he burst in through the front door! What had he been _thinking_? Not that Dib could have avoided leaving Zim, but that kind of logic held little significance.

"Zim, it's okay, it's me!" Dib blurted, frightened like a worm before a bird, hoping that the alien could look through the awful, indescribable panic that Dib could only imagine. "It's Dib!"

Zim hesitated at that, and Dib saw the expression on the alien's face change to sudden confusion, then to wide-eyed uncomprehending fear. "What's going on, what are you doing back here?!" Zim demanded, "Why did you leave the humans downstairs?!"

"I didn't! They left!" Dib cried, wishing he could do more to help Zim out from his position on the floor. No matter how awful Dib himself felt about all this, no matter how mortified and no matter how panicked, he couldn't even begin to comprehend how Zim felt and it killed him inside. How could he just let this terrified alien, this alien that he knew better than he had ever known anyone before, this alien that knew him better than anyone had ever wanted to... How could he possibly let him just suffer all alone like that?! It tore Dib apart as though molecule from molecule and atom from atom and he absolutely needed to make Zim stop hurting, to make Zim return to his old self.

Dib needed that more than anything.

"They what?" Zim snapped, his voice harsh, but surprise printed all over his face.

"Left! They're gone, Zim, you're safe," Dib finished, quieter, hoping to calm the alien down.

"The-they are?" Zim asked with utter shock in his voice, and Dib felt an odd sort of elation at knowing that Zim was at least calm enough to form complete sentences now. But Zim didn't seem to consider the idea of the threat being so suddenly eradicated and his voice twisted with confusion and fright, "That's impossible! You dare try to trick Zim?!"

To Dib's relief, the alien leapt off of him at that moment. But Dib couldn't help the knot that formed in his throat when he saw that Zim, having evidently worked off the last of the precise control he possibly could have held over his limbs, was shaking again. Not as violently, but he was shaking, and there was no denying how scared he still was.

"I'm not trying to trick you! I'm serious, they're gone!" Dib insisted, then watched as Zim stood without saying anything, suspicion printed clear across his still-terrified expression. Dib tried to give a slight smile, albeit a weak one. "You're safe, Zim."

"But I—but they... How?" Zim demanded, disbelieving. "And why should I trust you, anyway?!"

"Don't you think I would've already handed you over to the angry mob if I didn't want you to be safe?" Dib pleaded. He couldn't even be annoyed at Zim for not understanding that Dib wasn't out to hurt him, he was so worried. Under any other circumstances, even that wouldn't have been able to chase away all irritation in Dib's mind, but how could he possibly be at all upset at Zim at a time like this? All he wanted now was for the alien to somehow come to trust him, so that he could help his once-enemy. For they couldn't possibly be enemies anymore, could they?

"What reason could you have for desiring Zim's safety?!" Zim hissed with narrowed eyes, his voice hoarse from yelling and from not nearly enough breath and from the torrent of emotion that tore away at his throat. "You hate Zim! You are my mortal enemy! You are supposed to fight Zim, not save me!"

"But I don't hate you at all!" Dib persisted, articulating emotions newly-found within him and not yet named, despite the appalled voice still contradicting those emotions deep within his brain. How could he hate Zim? The same Zim that had been there for him for what felt like all his life? Who cares if they were enemies, Zim was still the best stabilizing force Dib ever had in his life! "I've never hated you!"

"You're lying! You're trying to trick Zim!" Zim roared, a pained expression on his face, as though he were on the verge of tears despite having no tears in his eyes and no choked tone in his voice.

"No I'm not!"

"Then why are you doing this?!"

"Because I don't want you to be hurt! Okay? I want to help you, so why won't you just let me help you?!" Dib implored, wanting nothing more than to take the emotional shipwreck of a life form into his arms, to embrace him, to make everything in the world okay for him; Zim deserved at least that much, looking at his pitiful state.

"Because you are not trying to help, you are trying to trick! Nobody fools an invader!" Zim exclaimed wildly, taking a stance that seemed to embody his paranoia in the positions held roughly by his shaking limbs.

"No I'm _not_!" Dib yelled, not even noticing how much he felt and sounded like a broken record. "Look, Zim, I care about you and I don't want you to be hurt! I'm not gonna hurt you!" He could hear his voice starting to break, desperation creeping out of his voice and into the air itself, only adding the storm of terror radiating out from Zim. Why couldn't he just help Zim? Why did it have to be so hard? Why couldn't he just make this all better, the way it should have been? "Just let me help you already!"

"But you're—" Zim cut himself off, the expression on his face a perfect picture of inner turmoil, shifting between confusion and panic and fear and utter desperation, before finally settling into one of utter helplessness caked with a most profound anger, and he walked—not so much walked as stumbled—over to Dib's bed and sat down, lowering his face into his trembling hands.

"Go away," Dib heard Zim snap quietly, and felt his heart breaking at the utterly broken nature of that tone, "Cease your lies and leave Zim alone!"


	4. Section Four

**Notes: **Just so anybody who might care knows, there's not gonna be an update this Monday like there usually would be, 'cause I don't have Section Five written yet. xD Yeah. Additionally and unrelatedly, I've noticed that nobody's thought to review this chapter since I put it up. Remember that reviews are welcome! If this chapter sucked, I wanna know 'bout it. ;)

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Zim could hardly stand to hear such lies as the ones the Dib thrust upon him. He cared? He wanted Zim to be safe? He wanted to help? Impossible! What lies! Clever of him to form so clever a ruse, to go so far as to show such worry on his face and such tears in his eyes! But not clever enough, for Zim had known it had been fake from the beginning! He was an Irken invader, and he knew when an inferior lifeform was lying to him.

Or at least, believing that would have been the simpler of the options.

Parts of Zim's mind still couldn't comprehend the words coming out of Dib's mouth, only hearing sounds with no meaning, as though his PAK's translator were malfunctioning. But parts heard, and they were quick to take those words, those devastated words full of desperation and worry, and mold them into some diabolical scheme to destroy Zim, to tear him limb from limb and to dissect him and to do all the things that the departed human mob would have done...

But didn't do, a part of Zim's mind had to point out wordlessly, because Dib kept them away.

As part of a plot! The rest of Zim retaliated wholeheartedly, or half-heartedly, or forcedly... It was getting hard to tell. The ache and the exhaustion in every one of Zim's cells was not prepared for this and the adrenaline-like rush had drained from his limbs as soon as it ceased to be absolutely necessary. And that had been as soon as the human threat was gone.

Maybe if he had taken a moment, Zim might have registered that this meant that Dib didn't qualify as a human threat; human, of course, disgustingly human and pale-skinned and tall, but not a threat. Never a threat.

But Zim took no such moments, and he only listened with all of his mind that had yet relearned how to listen as Dib poured his heart out before him.

"But I don't hate you at all! I've never hated you!" the pleading look in Dib's eyes was so sincere that it would have been utterly painful to accept that it was anything except a clever ruse.

Zim felt a jolt, a shock, some sort of intangible pain that held no substance besides to strike something deep within him and to tell him that something was simply not right. His enemy, standing there, all but crying over Zim? Trying to help Zim? He could not help, he was Zim's enemy! Why would his enemy ever want to help? Why, why, why?! It made no sense, no sense at all! It was a lie, that's all it was! "You're lying!" Zim forced out, convincing himself as well as calling out Dib's treachery, "You're trying to trick Zim!"

Because what else could Dib possibly have been doing? Zim had nobody left who would help him! Why should he expect that sort of aid from his mortal enemy?

"No I'm not!" Dib protested and Zim wondered in an almost-formed thought why Dib was even bothering anymore; Zim knew of his plot!

What in the world would Dib have to gain by helping Zim? Zim was his mortal enemy, damnit, and Dib finally had what he wanted, anyway! The entire planet knew that Zim wasn't human! Whatever sick and twisted scheme Dib had devised to reap his victory, Dib had already won! The human couldn't possibly be so dull to not realize that, so what was he doing, keeping up this worthless ruse?!

"Then why are you doing this?!"

"Because I don't want you to be hurt! Okay? I want to help you, so why won't you just let me help you?"

Zim's temper flared within him at the aching suddenly instilled deep within him. Why was Dib—his mortal enemy—the only one who ever seemed to care about Zim at all? Nobody else even _acted_ like they wanted to help Zim! Hell, Zim didn't even _have_ anybody else! He grit his teeth against that thought as soon as it formed and forced the part of him wishing to believe Dib's words into submission under internal screaming that it was just a trick, just a trick, _just a trick_!

"Because you are not trying to help, you are trying to trick! Nobody fools an invader!"

And invaders don't need help, anyway, Zim continued to himself, so why should he even care if Dib was lying or not? Even if he was telling the truth...

_He's not,_ Zim forced himself to think, only contributing to the aching feeling that swelled within him. It's just a ruse, a clever trick!

But why would he even bother at this point?

"No I'm _not_!" Dib yelled in retaliation, his voice betraying the best likeness of exhaustion and despair that Zim had ever heard. "Look, Zim, I care about you and I don't want you to be hurt! I'm not gonna hurt you!"

Those words hit Zim in the chest with shock and some form of relief that confused and scared him; Dib cared? What was that even supposed to mean? He wasn't Zim's enemy, he didn't want to hurt Zim, he wanted to help? Why, why, why, why, why?! Was Zim so important to Dib? Did Dib really want Zim around? Nobody else did (even though Zim is amazing!), so why should Dib? Why did he keep acting so upset over Zim, damnit?!

They were enemies! That's all they were! Not that Zim would exactly mind having Dib around, he might even prefer that, but...

But what? Zim felt horrified as he caught himself realizing that Dib wouldn't just be a useful ally, but that Dib was the only ally (or enemy or friend or anything else) that Zim could ever hope to have! The Irken Empire didn't want him, GIR had been captured, Zim was trapped in a hostile environment where everyone was after his squeedily-spooch, what did Zim have left?! All he had was... all he had was...

All he had was Dib.

The heavy mass of pleading tension lodged in his chest lurched and made itself known and he felt a feeling of fear wash over him at the thought that he really, truly did not hate Dib as he would hate an enemy, after all... He simply didn't! There was no explaining it, there was no defining it, Zim simply did not hate Dib! Far from it, even! How could this have happened? Not only was Zim's seemingly-endless repertoire of hatred for Dib apparently nonexistent, but in fact, to Zim, the human was... Dib was...

Zim stared at Dib with a new flavor of fear encroaching upon his brain and a feeling of disgust at himself washing through his veins.

Was Dib really that important to him?

Zim all of a sudden realized just how much he was shaking and just how weak his legs really were, and he sat down upon Dib's bed, putting his head in his hands to block out the sound of the tempest outside that suddenly berated his antennae with its impossibly menacing pitter-pattering. "Go away," he grumbled.

The rain was so loud and it reminded him that the humans were still out there. How could he hope to live through this situation, with or without Dib? And when did Dib stop being his enemy? Why was he helping? Would the humans come back to search again? What was... What was he going to _do_? Even the best invader (which he was!) wouldn't be able to handle this!

"Cease your lies and leave Zim alone!"

***

The silence Zim had left him with was an awkward, uncomfortable one, and Dib never thought he would feel so utterly out of place in his own room; he was almost the only one who ever came in here. His sister tended to avoid him in the first place, so her visits to his room were few and confined only to very special occasions; his father wasn't home all too often, and when he was, he scarcely left the lab. In fact, if Dib hadn't been so caught up in feeling what he felt and trying to figure out why, he might have noted that Zim (or some machination of Zim's) had probably ended up in his room over the years as many times as Gaz and Professor Membrane combined.

But the truth of the matter was that that wasn't relevant to anything, and it didn't even produce the slightest ripple on the outskirts of Dib's thoughts. Those thoughts were in an absolute torrent, racing around and around each other to try to figure out what he had been trying to explain to Zim just moments ago: _why was he helping his mortal enemy?_

He had made it clear enough to Zim, hadn't he? Dib cared about Zim, and he didn't want anything to happen to him. It shouldn't have been that complicated... But it _was._ Because Zim wasn't just a friend, or some kid off the street, Zim was an alien invader! He was bent on the destruction of the human race! And even more than that, he was Dib's mortal enemy! Who the hell had Dib been fighting for seven years now? Who had made near-death experiences nearly commonplace for Dib over those seven years? Who had been the chief cause of nearly all of the trauma Dib experienced throughout his childhood? _Zim!_

And Dib told himself that over and over again as he stared at the alien invader sitting on his bed, head in his hands, antennae drooping and quivering, radiating hatred and anger and fear and a profound confusion.

Or maybe the confusion was just in Dib's head; he had plenty cause for it himself. Every sign pointed toward it, Dib should hate Zim! He should have tried to expose Zim! He should have rejoiced when the rest of the humans finally realized what Zim was! So why didn't he? It made absolutely no sense, there was no reason why... there was no reason...

_But there is,_ Dib argued to himself in his head as he slumped down in his computer chair, feeling a little guilty when the slight noise brought Zim's relaxed antennae to an alert position and caused the alien to jump the tiniest bit and glance around the room apprehensively before letting his hands drop to his lap and shooting a suspicious glare at Dib.

"Why do you look at me like that, Earth-filth?!" Zim demanded, and Dib noted that the alien had almost entirely replaced the immense fear he had carried upon his arrival with anger.

He blinked, only just realizing he had been staring. He averted his eyes to the wall at his side and muttered, "Sorry." He supposed he couldn't have blamed Zim for being so paranoid, but it still hurt knowing that nothing he did could convince Zim that he really didn't have any ill intentions.

And all in all, it was probably a good thing that Zim seemed to accept that answer and fell back into his uncharacteristic silence, even if that silence drove Dib absolutely crazy. It gave him time to gather his thoughts, and he needed that more than anything. He stole another glance at Zim, looking away promptly when he noticed Zim's eyes were already narrowed upon him. He all but held his breath, waiting for Zim to say something, but Zim never did. Dib just assumed Zim had looked away at the wall; the invader had more to sort out in his head than Dib did himself, after all.

_But why did I help him?_ Dib wondered hopelessly; it really didn't make any sense! Why in the world would he help his mortal enemy? What was he thinking? Why would he do any of this, _why?_

Dib sighed slightly when he realized that it was a stupid question, really. He had told Zim, hadn't he? He cared about the alien, he wanted to help him. But why? How many times before had Dib shouted insult after insult at Zim, claiming that he would capture him and pin him down to an alien autopsy table? How many times had he made preparations to cripple Zim's plans before those plans even became clear in Zim's head? How many? A dozen, a hundred, several thousand? So why in the world would he suddenly want to help his mortal enemy?! He was an alien invader, he couldn't possibly be so important to Dib tha—

_Oh,_ Dib realized numbly, _Well, that's it right there._

Why wouldn't Zim be that important, Dib realized, because after all, he had known the alien for nearly half of his life. He knew Zim better than he had ever known anyone before, and probably better than he ever would know anybody! He recognized the meaning in nearly every shift of Zim's expressions, in each of the positions Zim's antennae took. He had a brief section of Zim's military records completely memorized, the only section he had managed to snatch from Zim's computer before it kicked him out. He kept a thick file of photos, many of which didn't even come close to proving anything about Zim, but were simply photographs that Dib had taken in secrecy over the years. And hell, the alien was the only one who ever seemed to want to be around Dib! Though, that had always been part of Zim's overall scheme to destroy Dib, but... Even then, even when Zim could've easily killed Dib, he never had. He had always taken just that extra thirty seconds of gloating, or slowed his movements just marginally, and unconsciously done _exactly_ what needed to be done to let Dib get away. And even just then, when the mob had been chasing Zim, he had sought refuge in Dib's house first! And not even with the intent of threatening Dib, just with the intention of finding a place to hide! So, did that mean...

Dib shook his head free of those thoughts. Just because he suddenly realized just how important it was to him to have Zim around, that didn't mean anything about what Zim thought of him. And besides, didn't he have more important things to worry about right then? Zim's crisis hadn't yet been averted, after all.

Dib was better off focusing his thoughts on a way to help Zim out of that.


End file.
